BFF

Here I am again,
At that very place that always seems to catch me by surprise.
Where my present joy and bliss
Are demised.
Because the couple, pain and unhealed wounds, shows up never allowing a chance to be missed.
The pain that is so easily, temporarily forgotten by something 35Proof
Better known as my fix.
Unhealed wounds always managing to crack and bleed, itch or just irritate me at the worst time.
Scars of which are so familiar, that of my own eye are blind.
It is as if my mind does a background check on me
When ever I feel empowered, happy, and free.
Then sends me a subliminal message that reminds me
That I should not feel that way based on my history.
And no matter how much make-up that I apply,
I will not feel like that beautiful woman in the mirror looking back at me inside.
Because like water is to a sea,
Hurt and resentment flows through me
And they run deep.
This was me. Hurt to the core.
Until I finally said,
"I have had enough! No more!
Of this illness, I will now write myself a prescription for a cure."
Then I called on the Lord.
This time I know God appointed me here.
Of another disappointment, I have no fear.
I am ready to face my past.
Away, all that hunts me, I cast.
No more raining on my own parade.
Life is to live and to love. I am no longer afraid.
If my obstacles did not kill me, I will allow nothing to hinder me of living my destiny
Of loving to live, living to love, and living to give.
He found me fit to be saved.
So I must give Him all of the praise.
Now I am certain that I will never end up at that place
Where my past frightens my current joy away
Ever again.
All because I had a meeting with my hurt and fears face to face,
Said all there was to say,
Got on my knees to pray,
And learned how not to be my own enemy but how to be my best friend
Until the End.

Never Ending Journey

Back in the day, no one could have told me

That I would not solve this mystery,

Of figuring out just who and what I wanted to be.

Not knowing I could become whoever I wanted to see

In the mirror.

But as I get older

It becomes a lot clearer

To me

That I am empowered to grab a hold of my destiny.

And if I am not continually growing,

I do not have the victory.

Celebrate each accomplishment.

But do not become complacent

With whom you are in that moment.

Because as long as your body has breath

You are always changing, even as you rest.

Now it’s funny to me of how

I used to walk around with my head held down.

As if there was no air in my chest.

As if I wasn’t as good as the rest.

Searching for approval with those in the same ship as me.

Blinded to the fact that I am the only artist that molds the clay that makes me.

Thanks to those whom encouraged me to see

That the decision to become who I am now and will be

Does not come with a cost of selling myself out.

But without a doubt

Is free.

Who I am now and later is up to me.

And discovering myself

Is a never ending journey.

I SAY

Trials and tribulation build character
THEY say.
But just who the heck are THEY?
What if ones trials are too great
For ones state of mind
That is, for that time?

And what if ones tribulations only contribute
To the manifestation of a bad habit
That has been passed down
From generation to generation.
Every bad experience does not necessarily
Has some signification.

I am tired of hearing,
"You go through things to make you stronger".
Sometimes crap happens!
And wears you down.
AND, to this world, reflects a person
That has lived double the number of years,
Or even longer.
AND creates that little girl with a mind
Unable to mature, who flaunts her body and
Gives herself freely
Ignorant of her self worth.
AND molds young and old men
Committing senseless crimes
As if it's a curse.
Whom, of which, to reason or ration is blind
And who are crying out for help
But is only as loud as a mime.
AND I'm struggling to stay conscience of
How much liquor I be guzzling.
Because, I am the greatest grandchild of a drunk.
Like my father, my grandfather was an alcoholic.
He was found, without an heat beat
On a park bench out on the streets,
As fresh as a skunk.

As If he had No family that Loved him.
A bum thought he was one of THEM.
To that low, I refuse to end up.
Nothing is wrong with having fun.
But I need to take care of my mental and physical health.
So the first step towards righteousness must start with me
And never hesitate to pray on my knees.
And no matter what, I have to keep my chin up.

Life is unfair, but it is also a blessing.
Just like the way we slaughter turkeys
Just so that we can fill them with dressing,
To help us celebrate the holiday:)
I'm gonna pause
Because on that,
I have much more to say.

That's it!
Just like THEY say,
I CAN SAY!
And I SAY...
Your troubles and failures will be too blurry to see,
If you stay focused on your next victory.
Let your hardships
Be just apart of your history.
We only have this life to live,
So don't let it be some great mystery.
Wasting time and energy
Dissecting our past.
Spend your life living!
Wash off all that soils and spoils you.
To yourself be and live your truth.
Enjoy every breath you take
Until it is your last.
And, with me, SAY...
AWAY
All that haunts me
I cast!

The Power of Prayer

I could not understand
It could not be corrected by man
My life, the way it was
Why would any one love me just because
In church, the preacher said that is just what He does

But even a sinner like me?
The truth, this can not be
With my flesh, I would not put up a fight
I would seek any pleasure within my sight
Not because I did not know what was right
I just wanted to feel as if I could fly like a kite

But very brief, would I feel that way
And so soon, I would feel like a child longing to go outside to play
On a rainy day

To the vessel of self destruction, I was a leech
Poison was to my body, as sand is to a beach
The land of sobriety, was no where I desired to be
Not even in my dreams could I see
My life... stable, happy and free
But now that is my reality
All because someone kept praying for me.

Incomplete Without You

I am in control

That is what I would tell myself

But is that temporary high

Worth the damnation of my soul

If I was to drink myself to death

All of my good deeds, to get into heaven

Could not pay the toll

Not even to myself could I admit

That my need to drink

Is no better than a “crack head”

In search for a fix

It is so easy

To identify a drug addicts’ habits

But the way we are unable to see our addictions as clearly

Is a trip

In efforts to ease some deep rooted pain

My troubles, alcohol was used to help me briefly forget

And for a short period of actually feeling sane

But for it, my salvation I will not forfeit

How patient Our Father must be

To allow me the time to wake up and see

That I can only serve one God

And that one God is He

No matter what mistakes I have made

In my life’s journey

You still see my soul fit to be saved

Thank you Lord, for being my raft

So that I wouldn’t sink

Of what others will think

I am no longer paranoid

Because now I know

Only You can fill my void

Royalty

My child who is developing into a young lady

Know that you are beautiful and intelligent

How one can long for approval by man disturbs me

One thing that you should never lack

Is confidence

I know

From experience

Naturally we give openly

But to whom we should be giving

To most seems to be a mystery

So, easily we can lose sight

Become lost in things of the world

And make decisions that will guide us away from the light

We are God’s children

Although compliments are nice to hear

In order to feel worthy, man should not have to mention

Know your self worth

Carry yourself as you should

And the fact that you deserve and demand respect

 Will never be misunderstood

So take your place and kneel down before the thrown

And rejoice

To you, it is now known

Just why you should walk with your head held high

All of the tools to serve your life’s purpose, you possess

Your desires will not be denied

At birth He has placed a crown on your head

That made you more than His daughter

Remember to keep your soul fed

You can ensure your spot in His kingdom

As long as words of your faith and need for Him, out of your mouth, are said

Priceless, you are

And must realize

To our Father, our everything, and our all-in-all in the sky

Your true identity

Can not be denied

Lift your voice and sing

And never allow any man to treat you as less

By Our King

You were made a princess.

Dance My Child

Dance my child
Big or small
It doesn't matter, you can do it all
Moving and grooving, kicking and turning
The list doesn't stop to want these girls are learning

Dance my child
Swing your arms and move your hips
Your dancing can be as powerful as any words from your lips
Having pride and discipline in your art
Will teach you to focus in school, because you are smart
The way you move with such elegance and grace
I know you can over come any obstacle you face

Dance my child
Your rhythm is innate
Express yourself and know you are destined to be great
Let the joy of your heart
Flow through every body part
From the top of your head, to the point of your toes
From the curve in your back, to the sweat on your nose

Dance my child
With the passion of our ancestors
This trait of movements with song comes naturally, so you will only get better
From generation to generation
Set goals until you have reached your destination

There are no limits to what you can be
And rejoice
Because you have already begun
Living your dreams

DREAM WITH YOUR EYES OPEN

I will no longer be afraid to dream
For so long, the simple thought
Of stepping out on faith frightened me
For my dreams to come true...
Impossible, it seemed
I had to realize that bracing to fall
Only hindered me

If I shut my eyes tight
Every time I decided to step forward
And take a chance
Trip or fumble, I just might
I can't waste any more time being afraid
Because life can end in just a glance
So an executive decision had to be made
And I had to have an epiphany

I am worth the shot
Of making all of my dreams come true
But I must put forth all the effort I got
And all of my ambitious thoughts, I must do

If I desire for any of my aspirations to become a reality
And if I hope to achieve my goals and have any luck
I can not leap towards my destiny
With my eyes being shut.

Knowing I Can't Fly

I spent much of my time wondering...
How did I make it
To the other side of all of the bridges
That collapsed beneath my feet
Through all of the days that were as bright as the night
Without one candle being lit
To be worthy of His mercy and blessings
I know I am not fit

How foolish was I
For thinking I could fix all that had broken on my own
It took some time to realize
That even a 70 year old man that does not know the Lord
Is just a soul that is lost and old
So how could I think I am so grown

But, now I know
Without God being the captain of the ship of my life
I will not reach my full potential and I am unable to truely grow
I am so grateful that God can see
Knows His children
And realizes how simple we can be

I know I must use my gifts and talents
As a testimony
Of all the ways that God has blessed me
As long as I keep Him first and do my part
There is no obstacle I can not defeat

My prayers never fell upon deaf ears
And even if I am surrounded by demons at the darkest hour
The Lord is always my protector, my sword and my shield
So there is nothing I shall fear

Before I began to develop my plan
He was already working things out
Before I got down to pray on a single knee
Just the thought of His Goodness
Makes me want to Shout!

I had to grow in His word, develop greater patience and mature
And all I can say is...
Thank You Lord!
For clearing my vision so I can see
Because the entire time I was trying to figure out how to fly
You were carrying me.

Growing In His Word

Hello young man and young lady
I know you are discovering who you are
or at least trying to decide who you want to be
Realizing that this world can be just plain crazy

You maybe struggling with the transition from being a child to an adult
Adjusting to all of these new emotions and responsibilities
Maybe getting over some type of pain you felt

When ever things seem to be going down
Do not get discouraged
Know that God has your back and has placed your feet on solid ground

We are only human, so we are going to make mistakes
But you must learn from them and prepare yourself
to take advantage of the opportunities that will allow you to be great

Carry yourself in a way that you can hold your head high
Others respect, always demand and never deny
And consistently talk and build your relationship with our Father in the sky

Life's path, at times, can be quit rough
Do not give up because you are tough
So if ever, you be discouraged
Remind yourself and say out loud
Even if there is a crowd...
Greater is He
That lives within me
Off of my soul, the devil shall Not feed
God has sent his son to watch over me
Those battle, I give them to the Lord to fight
I will pray, live the right way, and love God with all of my might
Blessed, I will be with all that I desire
And others will not even have to be close to feel the fire
The fire that burns in me for God's son
As long as I let His will be done.

Story Book Ending

Sometimes, I wonder
Why! Have this life been chosen for me?
I always hear...
You go through things to make you stronger
But I once felt that I did not want to live this life any longer
Thoughts like that can not get any wronger

This can not be all there is
I will make all of my dreams come true
And prove to all of my doubters, I can do it!
Their negativity, I will not miss
There is no limit to what I can do

To that child that feels you are not loved
Unconditionally
You are, from Him above
I know your situation
You may not understand
And wish you could fly away like a dove

What ever life you are living
Is to build you into the person you are meant to be
So don't think happiness is only found in your dreams
You must be progressive in discovering
Just who is inside of the person in the mirror you see
Sometimes we give up on ourselves so easily
We must give ourselves second chances
You can not allow yourself to be swallowed by your circumstances

Now that I know I am worth the struggle I had to endure
One day a child that is searching for love will have to look no more
I know exactly how that feels
And the pain that it brings can not be more real
I will prepare myself to be in a position to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way
This state of mind was not easy to develop, I must say
But it was something that I had to master
In order for me to have my... "Happily Ever After"

You Could Not Hear Me

I can not help but to wonder
After I have done all that I have done
Why you could not hear me
 I wish God would have just given you a son

It never seemed to make you wonder?
Why, when you would leave me with him
The bed I would go under
I use to be so scared listening to his footsteps
Coming towards my room, it sounded like thunder

Squeezing your neck so tight
I would do anything to prolong the process
Because I hated when he came to my room at night
Hoping you would see the fear in my eyes
When ever you went to sleep early,
I would cry
I'd roll myself in my covers
Holding on with all of my might
No matter what I did
He Always won the fight

As the parts of myself grew
I hated my body for demanding attention
I just did not know what to do
 Being "bad" in class intentionally getting detention
But only so we could get home at the same time
How he waited on me after school, I failed to mention

It wasn't until now that I finally realized
Why you never seemed to hear me
That desperate plea
But things got out of hand
And it saddens me to see you hugging that same man
That is the reason you are crying
Now you will never understand
Watching you as an angle sitting on a cloud
All because I could never tell you Out Loud

Sing Your Song

Lift your voice loud and clear
Sing you Own melody for all to hear
Whether you are singing for peace out of fear
Or in longing for a loved one because they are not near

Sing your song
Like Etta James in
I'd Rather Be Blind
or Anita Baker in
Will You Be Mine

Show that you refuse to give up
on love you know is True
like the Temptations in
Ain't Too Proud to Beg
and Jennifer Holliday in
And I'm Telling You

Sing from the soul
Like Patti Labelle, Aretha Franklin, and Chaka Khan
Or let your song come out smooth and cool
Like Sade or Nat King Cole

Lift your voice high to the sky above
With the passion of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
in Your Precious Love
Or like Ottis Redding in
That's How Strong My Love Is
The way the words flow out of your mouth
The feeling of love can not be missed

Demand your listeners relive the experience
That you share through song
like Sam Cooke
And express yourself Without shame
like Millie Jackson in
If Loving You Is Wrong

Bring together different and beautiful voices
like they did in
We Are The World
Sing with a strong and powerful voice
that gives goosebumps
And make stomachs curl

I love such songs
that send a positive message
Like Donny Hathaway in
Little Ghetto Boy
Voice in song is truly a gift
and shouldn't be stored away
Like an old toy

Lift your voice loud and clear
Sing your own melody for all to hear
Whether your words and music
Inspire, Encourage, Relate, or simply Entertain
Just be sure to sing from the heart
And do your Own thing

Thank You Daddy

Thank you Daddy
for teaching me right from wrong
Making me laugh when you sing your favorite song
And for letting me win when we play pang pong

Thank you
For comforting me when I am scared
And for telling me to pray
and that there is nothing to fear

For being a great example of what a man should be
And showing me just how a man should treat a lady

For teaching me the importance of planting good seeds
And working hard to provide for my needs

Thank You
For believing in me
even before I was old enough to dream of what I could be

For teaching me...
Once I reach my goals
to push and go further
But most of all
I want to Thank You
for knowing how to nurture

It's easy to become a Daddy
But you
Are also a Father

Calling Daddy

Where is that big, strong man
that is supposed to help mommy
A man like the one that lives with Connie

She is so lucky to have him around
even though he works out of town
I wish I had one to make me laugh
although he is not funny
I would take quality time
over any amount of money

Where is that big, strong man
to tell me I am beautiful and tuck me in at night
You know the one that loves me with all his might
And teaches me to ride a bike

The man that does his part,
even though he and mom are not together
And what he would do for me...
There is no measure
Knowing he will always be there for me...
The feeling couldn't be better

But I guess,
for now
I have to look up to the one that comes to pick up Maddie
Until mine
Hears me
Calling Daddy

Grandama Always Said

Grandma always said...
Get your hair done or atleast make sure it is neat
And be sure to take care of your teeth and your feet

No man wants a lazy woman as a wife
Be honest, it is a disgrace to be known as a lie
You have to boil those peaches before you make a peach pie
No matter what your children is going through, never leave their side

Never be the wisest person you know
Because if you are, there is not much room to grow
Be respectful and well groomed every where you go
And for kind acts, Gratitude you must show

Just because you are breathing, doesn't mean you are living
Always honor your parents and love your siblings
It is a great thing to be a person that is giving

No! Bingo and playing the lotto Is Not gambling
And remember, one thing to cherish... is time spent with the family

That woman is always on the go
And always telling me what she thinks I should know

I often think of things my Grandma said
With my hunger for knowledge, by her words...
I am fed

Get Out of Your Way

If yesterday, you said you will do it tomorrow
Then get to it, because tomorrow is today
Stop pushing it off, Now is the time to pave your way
Don't waste another second, of a minute in the hours, of the day

Set your goals and keep your eyes on the prize
There are no limits to what you can do, so aim high
Aim for that target far beyond the clouds in the sky
And position yourself to receive the blessings your laziness has denied

Once you realize you have to actually Do your part
And not Only pray, asking God to give you the desires of your heart
There won't be words to explain the joy you will feel
Knowing you put in the work to make your dreams become real

You must have an epiphany
Realize that you are amazing
And you will discover the key you possess to unlock the door to your destiny
All because you buried that trait of procrastinating
 

The Path

In life, you have to follow your heart
and from the road to success, never part
Set goals and put them in your vision
To become the best you is not easy, you must make it your mission
Do not be a statistic and foolishly end up in prison
But if prison is a place you have been,
just, honestly, repent your sins
And get on a road that travels will not go near that place again
When ever things seem to be looking down
Know that God has your back and has placed your feet on solid ground
For strength to carry on, no need to look around
On your head lay a crown
Any answers you are in search for
Look no more
They are waiting to be discovered inside
But if you still feel lost, always talk with our Father in the sky
Know, what ever you do, to do it with pride
Never waste one day that you are alive
And live in a way that you can always hold your head high

Hello Young Man

Hello, my child
lost in his thoughts
Now suspended from school
because, in class, he fought

When asked why, he can't explain
And to speak without profanities
he can not reframe
While pretending to be a part of a gang

Hoping to get lost in the pack
maybe then, he won't feel the weight of the world on his back
Who he is or wants to be
he does not know
So, the coolest guy around
he will follow

If any of this sounds like you
Know
to yourself
be true
Don't just follow the crowd
like a fool
to build a brighter future
You possess the tools

All of your talents, life's purpose, and identity
is waiting to be discovered inside
So, be grateful that you are alive
And say, "Hello!", to the young man looking back at you in the mirror
because for whom you are searching
Has already arrived