BFF

Here I am again,
At that very place that always seems to catch me by surprise.
Where my present joy and bliss
Are demised.
Because the couple, pain and unhealed wounds, shows up never allowing a chance to be missed.
The pain that is so easily, temporarily forgotten by something 35Proof
Better known as my fix.
Unhealed wounds always managing to crack and bleed, itch or just irritate me at the worst time.
Scars of which are so familiar, that of my own eye are blind.
It is as if my mind does a background check on me
When ever I feel empowered, happy, and free.
Then sends me a subliminal message that reminds me
That I should not feel that way based on my history.
And no matter how much make-up that I apply,
I will not feel like that beautiful woman in the mirror looking back at me inside.
Because like water is to a sea,
Hurt and resentment flows through me
And they run deep.
This was me. Hurt to the core.
Until I finally said,
"I have had enough! No more!
Of this illness, I will now write myself a prescription for a cure."
Then I called on the Lord.
This time I know God appointed me here.
Of another disappointment, I have no fear.
I am ready to face my past.
Away, all that hunts me, I cast.
No more raining on my own parade.
Life is to live and to love. I am no longer afraid.
If my obstacles did not kill me, I will allow nothing to hinder me of living my destiny
Of loving to live, living to love, and living to give.
He found me fit to be saved.
So I must give Him all of the praise.
Now I am certain that I will never end up at that place
Where my past frightens my current joy away
Ever again.
All because I had a meeting with my hurt and fears face to face,
Said all there was to say,
Got on my knees to pray,
And learned how not to be my own enemy but how to be my best friend
Until the End.

Never Ending Journey

Back in the day, no one could have told me

That I would not solve this mystery,

Of figuring out just who and what I wanted to be.

Not knowing I could become whoever I wanted to see

In the mirror.

But as I get older

It becomes a lot clearer

To me

That I am empowered to grab a hold of my destiny.

And if I am not continually growing,

I do not have the victory.

Celebrate each accomplishment.

But do not become complacent

With whom you are in that moment.

Because as long as your body has breath

You are always changing, even as you rest.

Now it’s funny to me of how

I used to walk around with my head held down.

As if there was no air in my chest.

As if I wasn’t as good as the rest.

Searching for approval with those in the same ship as me.

Blinded to the fact that I am the only artist that molds the clay that makes me.

Thanks to those whom encouraged me to see

That the decision to become who I am now and will be

Does not come with a cost of selling myself out.

But without a doubt

Is free.

Who I am now and later is up to me.

And discovering myself

Is a never ending journey.